PEOPLE!!! It has been a really long time since I have actually told you all what I have been doing in my life. I honestly wanted to share a few things I have been thinking about lately... Soo bear with me as I get kind of deep and personal here.
So, I got home last March. March 30, 2017 to be exact. Coming home from this grand adventure I just had was not easy. I had been away from my family and friends for a total of 18 1/2 months. Honestly, its a really long time, but during the time I was on my mission, I grew so much. Individually, I became a stronger person who was able to take care of myself. Mentally, I also grew stronger because I had to get through tough times by myself with the help of my Savior Jesus Christ. Emotionally, I had to go through so many ups and downs that I didn't know was actually going to happen while on my mission, but I definitely grew in those 18 months. I am so grateful for the time I was able to serve my Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ.
For those of you who don't know, I struggled coming home. I honestly didn't want to even come home from my mission. I feel as if I could of stayed out there just a little bit longer, but I knew I NEEDED to come home to help others here in my hometown learn about the gospel and family members who were struggling. Stepping off the plane to come home was a weird feeling. So many thoughts were running through my head. Some of them were what was going to happen in this next chapter in my life and how am I going to have ANY purpose whatsoever. I was an emotional wreck and honestly even today I still have breakdowns about what to do with my next chapter. (Sooo if anyone wants to help a women out, please help me as I work on this chapter...) Haha! Just kidding! Something I am working on right now.
I have almost been home for 18 months which is a mission. In those months I have had many ups and plenty of downs in my life. I am soooo grateful for the ups that I have had, of course not so much the downs. You know how it goes... There were a few things that were totally different as I came home and I am still struggling to figure out.. Here's my list....
1. Friends: Literally this has been one thing I have honestly struggled with since being home. After being gone for 18 months and experiencing so many things and growing so much, it was and is still super hard to feel pretty normal in the real world. While on your mission your life kind of gets put on hold. You aren't going to school, work, most missionaries don't even have social media. So while you are growing in so many different ways, your friends are still living their own lives. Coming home you are just kind of jumping back into a routine they kind of already had. It's a pretty rough situation. People don't necessarily forget about you, but they do kind of move on in a way and its hard to remember that.
2. Family: This is probably one the HARDEST things too. It's honestly very similar to how friends are. I have a younger brother and a younger sister. Trenton is 3 years younger than me, and my sister Madalyn is 6 years younger. While you are gone they still end up growing. Honestly, they start living like you aren't even there anymore. I know HARSH.. And when you get back you honestly have to just jump back into their routine (which you just came back with probably one of the craziest routines you will ever have as a human being). Relationships that I had before my mission were definitely different and continue to be different. That is definitely something that I have been trying to work out. Learning to work with relationships and trying to definitely strengthen them again.
3. Trying to fit in: This is still something that I am currently working on. Even after being home for a year and a half I am still honestly struggling with not saying stupid things and honestly not being a weirdo and making some weird comment (happens to me all the time). Haha!
4. Clothing Style: As a missionary you literally wear like one clothing style basically. All you wear for 18 months is straight skirts and a nice top or dresses. Occasionally, you have the opportunity to wear pants but thats for service projects. Other than those times we have our workout clothing. But coming back into the real world its honestly not super fashionable to always wear skirts or dresses. So clothing to me has been a struggle to see exactly what is "me."
I hope someone is in need of this. Just know you aren't alone and that there are other people out in the world who are struggling with coming home from the greatest 18 months or even 2 years. It slowly does get better. Just remember that Heavenly Father and Our Savior Jesus Christ truly do love you and know you personally. I have been wanting to write something along these lines for a while now and I just never knew how to write it and what exactly I needed to say. Something lately happened and made me really think about all of these experiences I have had which made me write this post.
Below are a few pictures of my homecoming. I am seriously so grateful for my mission and the many things I was able to learn. I am grateful also for the things that I have been learning since being home.
Thanks for taking the time to read this post. I honestly hope this helps someone out..
Love you all!
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